...having been breathed out

Anglophile; lit- and writing-dork; dacshund owner; fanfic writer, Sherlock and otherwise; costume/clothing/design aficionada; former punk rocker; queer clotheshorse and anti-gastronome.

pussylesqueer:

Les Beehive – Katlin Aas by Giampaolo Sgura for Vogue Germany, February 2014
240 notes Reblogged from Pussy le Queer
Late summer city sunrise

Late summer city sunrise

Anonymous asked:
Do you ever find it remarkable how much trust we put into our sex partners? Or in ourselves during sex? It is a really vulnerable time, where the possibility for hurt, physical and emotional, is really high. It also has the potential to be pretty gross. Yet, we possess a drive pulling us to it. Also, do you think "I'm not going to hurt you" is a promise anyone can ever truly make?

I definitely do not think that anyone can guarantee anyone else against the possibility of getting hurt by them, no. People change and grow, and sometimes that’s painful. One can pledge in good faith to act honourably and compassionately towards another person; anything more strikes me as unrealistic. Even that pledge is a tall enough order, and one in which most people (definitely including me) fail a on a regular basis. 

All the rest of it’s true, too. Though I think all that’s true of any real human connection, sexual or not: we’re opening ourselves up to being hurt and ridiculed and having our hearts and bodies and egos broken; our bonds with one another will be messy and imperfect and we will disappoint each other and ourselves and never live up to the potential at which the best moments seem to hint. But you know: (a) there’s some pretty glorious, challenging, soul-nourishing stuff in it as well; and (b) for most people a life without some sort of human connection is pretty bleak, I think. Even for people like me, who are quite solitary by inclination. I tend to think of calculated risks and a certain amount of pain as the price for continuing to evolve as a human. :-/

bootsnblossoms replied to your post: “so say you were having casual if extremely energetic sex with…”:
So much yes. But then I would also think of that Spike/Harmony scene with Harmony pretending to be Buffy, and start giggling inappropriately because that’s the kind of weirdo I am. XD

AHAHAHAHAHAHA omg. I forgot about that whole Spike/Harmony subplot! Obviously I need to do some re-watching if my Buffy roleplay is going to be up to snuff.

doctornerdington replied to your post: “But back to what’s *really* important…”:
Dorky sexytimes are the best sexytimes, imo.

Right?? Truer words.

tpp roundtable 1 of 2 done

avawatson:

The lovely unknownsister modded. My mega apologies and fangirl squees to taylorpotato and havingbeenbreathedout. Thank you for putting up with my rambling ass. <3

It was fun! Great conversation. Thanks for having me, & I look forward to hearing it all edited together! :-D

8 notes Reblogged from avawatson replies

But back to what’s *really* important…

pasiphile replied to your post: so say..

YES

doctornerdington replied to your post: so say..

YES.

thatworldinverted replied to your post: so say...

Not only yes, but hell yes.

ishuzu replied to your post: so say...

I don’t see any other possible way to take it

I knew y’all had my back on this.

justgot1 replied to your post: so say...

yes. then I’d bite them

Much like Buffy in certain portions of the show, my friend also seems to be into that.

musclesandmisandry replied to your post: so say..

I’d be flattered! Pretty sure Buffy helped some lesbian awakenings happen in the 90’s, so.

Absolutely. Mine happened pre-Buffy, but I can see that for SURE.

lbmisscharlie replied to your post: so say.

I feel like Buffy’s questionable taste in sexual partners would make it a bit complicated, but that aside, yes, certainly!

Hilariously, she kind of shares that quality with her as well and would probably be the first to point it out. Present company excluded, OBVS, ahahaha. (Er. I hope.)

nichellen replied to your post: so say..

Maybe the “friend” should not broach this subject during the actual sex…

angstyteenagesam replied to your post: so say...

yes, but I’d agree with the not actually during sex conversation, in case they interpreted it negatively so there’s be time to explain as needed

Yes, this is sound advice. I’m thinking maybe two drinks in with a preface about how it’s totally hot might be the ideal recipe for a positive reception.

THANKS FOR FACILITATING MY POSSIBLE DORKY SEXYTIMES, TUMLBR. I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU.

kellysue:

fuckyeahhistorycrushes:

Beryl Markham (1902-1986).  Aviator, adventurer, writer.  Of her book, West with the Night, Hemingway wrote: "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer. I felt that I was simply a carpenter with words, picking up whatever was furnished on the job and nailing them together and sometimes making an okay pig pen. But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers … it really is a bloody wonderful book."

Oh, Ernest. You fucking asshole.  

kellysue:

fuckyeahhistorycrushes:

Beryl Markham (1902-1986).  Aviator, adventurer, writer.  Of her book, West with the Night, Hemingway wrote: "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer. I felt that I was simply a carpenter with words, picking up whatever was furnished on the job and nailing them together and sometimes making an okay pig pen. But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers … it really is a bloody wonderful book."

Oh, Ernest. You fucking asshole.  

septagonstudios:

Chad Gowey
LEVIATHAN

Vintage Photo Booth Pictures, c. 1930s-1960s

(Source: vintagegal)

Anonymous asked:
why is informing a creator that they were able to change your negative opinion a bad thing though ?? isn't it wonderful to be able to make people love things they wouldn't normally be interested in ?

moonblossom:

stitchlock:

well, people never seem to frame it “Wow, ____was really interesting, and you changed my mind about this!” its ususally more along the lines of “____ is the craziest shit ever, but this is art cool” - the distinction is tonal, I admit, but if you’re trying to compliment a stranger, criticizing their mental stability and swearing at them might not be the place to begin.

This happens a lot in fandom, particularly tropes like omegaverse or some of the more original AUs. A lot of the comments read subtextually like “I don’t normally read this shit because it’s weird, but I’m glad I read yours.”

Like, uh, thanks? I think? Did you start reading it because you thought you’d enjoy it, or because you wanted to laugh at me?

I would like to agree with Moony and also just add a plea to be extra careful about this type of language when you’re talking about something that could potentially reflect someone’s actual lived experience. Most of the comments I’ve received that fit this model have been along the lines of “I’m normally [not into/not turned on by/grossed out by] [femslash/vaginas/vulvas/sex scenes involving women*], but this story is great!” And while that is flattering in one way, in another way it’s YET ANOTHER person telling me that my embodied experience as a queer woman with sexual agency is, as a general thing, gross and distasteful. Which btw is a message I am already receiving/have already received from such varied sources as: my grandmother, my middle-school sex ed teacher, tv commercials for tampons and razors and douches and and waxes, Hollywood movies, former sexual partners, that shouty dude down on the street corner, the very show I am using as the inspiration for the fic you’re commenting on, and basically 90% of the world at large. I’m not saying everyone has to get turned on by vulvas; it’s your prerogative to find vulvas gross; but you are under no obligation to seek me out in order to tell me that when I’ve demonstrated pretty extensively that my own feelings about them are quite the reverse.

(*I know that not all women have vulvas and that not all people with vulvas are women. But there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the widespread cultural discomfort with and distaste for vulvas—the reason there are huge industries devoted to disguising, transforming, “cleaning,” scenting and denuding vulvas that were perfectly fine to begin with—is inextricably linked with misogyny and the patriarchal co-option of specifically female sexuality.)

And honestly, even when the subject isn’t as fraught as that, it still feels kind of rotten to be told a thing you like is inherently weird or distasteful. If someone’s in fandom then odds are good they get that message quite a bit in their day-to-day lives; why add to it? If I find myself writing the following comment:

  • Man, I don’t normally read science fiction, but your space station setting is so vivid, and the way you wrote the dynamic between the main characters totally drew me in! This kept me up way past my bedtime; thank you so much for writing it.

Does it really gain anything by that first phrase? Why should this author care that I don’t read sci-fi? If anything, given that they presumably do like sci-fi and will continue writing it, I’ve just made myself less relevant to them by pointing out that I don’t share their love of the genre. Isn’t the comment just as good, nay better, as simply:

  • Your space station setting is so vivid, and the way you wrote the dynamic between the main characters totally drew me in! This kept me up way past my bedtime; thank you so much for writing it.

I am far from perfect at this myself, but lately I’ve been trying to catch myself whenever I write the “I don’t normally…” construction, and just asking myself if there’s a good reason for including it. Sometimes there is, but most often I find I can just delete.

so

say you were having casual if extremely energetic sex with someone, and they told you that you remind them intensely of Buffy Summers

would you take this as a compliment?

lyagamii:

Scarlett

lyagamii:

Scarlett

I feel a sense of profound fellowship with my fellow folks out on dates of a Monday evening. Y’all are hardcore. We are hardcore. Power to the people.